Ben's Busy Blog
My personal online journal of daily accomplishments and setbacks
Closing statementsWednesday, January 02, 2008
A month ago, I decided to discontinue the Busy Blog and stated my reasons to friends and family, but never got around to posting why I'd stopped. I originally started this blog as a way to keep track of my efforts to be productive and also to publicize them. By letting other people know what I was doing and what I felt about it, I thought that I'd generate sympathetic support for what I was doing. In retrospective, I was trying to croudsource my self-discipline. This never worked. Friends and family are people that want to spend time with you, who like being with you. They might have your best interests at heart, but I believe it's antithetical to their human nature to detract from their time spent with you. You always hear about driven people neglecting their personal connections. This is because aside from edge cases friends and family are counterweight to work. I can't expect my friends and family to help me become a better worker. They'll try to help me be happier, because sadness is shared among those who you're close to, but they can only go so far. And I can't blame them for that one bit.
As part of the new year, I've confronted the fact that I will most likely never become a videogame programmer or designer. Not only is it difficult to find a job in the industry, it is even more difficult to find a job there that doesn't wreak havoc on your personal life. I love my wife and she needs me. I can't afford to throw that away for any job. I can't expect to become a part of the videogame industry, and it's hurtful to my future if I waste time pursuing it as anything other than a hobby. It makes me sad to think it, but I guess it's another case of giving up on being a rock star or a famous actor.
Anyway, I guess I'm going to be looking at the logic for getting ahead in life, and trying to pursue my hobbies too. I'll also be trying not to go insane doing this. I can't say I dislike the idea of taking this blog and just turning it into a general purpose beast. It could even be kinda fun really. Who doesn't love a vanity project?
As part of the new year, I've confronted the fact that I will most likely never become a videogame programmer or designer. Not only is it difficult to find a job in the industry, it is even more difficult to find a job there that doesn't wreak havoc on your personal life. I love my wife and she needs me. I can't afford to throw that away for any job. I can't expect to become a part of the videogame industry, and it's hurtful to my future if I waste time pursuing it as anything other than a hobby. It makes me sad to think it, but I guess it's another case of giving up on being a rock star or a famous actor.
Anyway, I guess I'm going to be looking at the logic for getting ahead in life, and trying to pursue my hobbies too. I'll also be trying not to go insane doing this. I can't say I dislike the idea of taking this blog and just turning it into a general purpose beast. It could even be kinda fun really. Who doesn't love a vanity project?
Labels: End of the productivity posts
